Continuous and distributed monitoring of environmental parameters may pave the way for developing sustainable strategies to tackle climate challenges. State-of-the-art technologies, made with electronic systems, are often costly, heavy, and generate e-waste. Here, we propose a new generation of self-deployable, biocompatible, and luminescent artificial flying seeds for wireless, optical, and eco-friendly monitoring of environmental parameters (i.e., temperature). Inspired by natural Acer campestre plant seeds, we developed three-dimensional functional printed luminescent seed-like fliers, selecting polylactic acid as a biocompatible matrix and temperature as a physical parameter to be monitored. The artificial seeds mimic the aerodynamic and wind dispersal performance of the natural ones. The sensing properties are given by the integration of fluorescent lanthanide-doped particles, whose photoluminescence properties depend on temperature. The luminescent artificial flying seeds can be optically read from a distance using eye-safe near-infrared wavelengths, thus acting as a deployable sensor for distributed monitoring of topsoil environmental temperatures.