The notion that biodiversity markets can raise money desperately needed for biodiversity conservation is gaining momentum. The dire state of biodiversity and the enormous biodiversity repair bill means that every funding option must be explored. However, the risk that trading ill-defined generic biodiversity credits will result in biodiversity loss, not conservation, should be considered. Scarce resources could be diverted to market regulation rather than conservation. Without key elements, biodiversity markets could be perverse, leading to Orwellian "doublespeak"-saying one thing, but resulting in another.