The mode-division multiplexing (MDM) is an effective technology with huge development potential to improve the transmission capacity of optical communication system by transmitting multiple modes simultaneously in a few-mode fiber. In traditional MDM technology, the fundamental modes of multiple channels are usually modulated by external individual arranged electro-optic modulators, and then multiplexed into the few-mode fiber or waveguide by a mode multiplexer. However, this is usually limited by large device footprint and high power consumption. Here, we report a mode-selective modulator and switch to individually modulate or switch the TE11, TE12 and TE21 modes in a few-mode waveguide (FMW) to overcome this limitation. Our method is based on the graphene-polymer hybrid platform with four graphene capacitors buried in different locations of the polymer FMW by utilizing the coplanar interaction between the capacitors and spatial modes. The TE11, TE12 and TE21 modes in the FMW can be modulated and switched separately or simultaneously by applying independent gate voltage to different graphene capacitor of the device. Our study is expected to make the selective management of the spatial modes in MDM transmission systems more flexible.