The term tongqi refers to cisgender, heterosexual women who unwittingly marry non-straight men. In mainland China, their adverse social position and health have been the subject of concern. This study aims to broaden and diversify perceptions of the lived experiences of tongqi by focusing on sex and sexualities in mixed-orientation marriages. Four themes (lack of sexuality-related exploration before marriage, the unsatisfactory nature of marital sex life, the exercise of sexual agency, and increased self-awakening) were developed from observations of a tongqi online support group and 12 semi-structured interviews with members. Using inductive thematic analysis, findings reveal how heteronormativity oppresses and punishes both tongqi and their non-straight husbands. In most cases, husbands not 'doing heterosexuality' as expected were still found to be 'doing gender' in patriarchal ways, with wives' subordinate status thereby being reinforced, making them more vulnerable. However, despite women's sexual autonomy and agency being constrained by normative forces, some were able to navigate their conjugal relationships by practising sexual autonomy and agency within and outside their marriage.
Keywords: China; Heteronormativity; patriarchy; sex life; sexuality; tongqi.