Ortho-benzyne has been well studied by both experiment and theory. Its substituted variants, however, have been less carefully examined. Benchmark data are computed for unsubstituted ortho-benzyne using several density functional theory functionals and basis sets, up to cc-pVQZ. Optimized geometries for the substituted ortho-benzyne as well as harmonic vibrational frequencies and singlet-triplet splittings are computed using the benchmarked functionals. A proximal (syn)OH substitution causes a mean θ1 distortion of +8.1 ± 1.4° from ortho-benzyne. Substituting in the proximal position with F shifts the singlet-triplet splitting by +4.5 ± 0.4 kcal mol-1 from ortho-benzyne. Natural bond orbital analysis, including natural Coulomb electrostatics, elucidates the presence of three influences from the selected substituents: hyperconjugative, resonance, and electrostatic effects.