Used as building biomaterials for centuries, cereal straws are known for their remarkable acoustic performances in sound absorption. Yet, their use as fibrous media disregards their internal structure made of nodes partitioning stems. Here, we show that such nodes can impart negative acoustic bulk modulus to straw balls when straws are cut on either side of a node. Such metafluid inspired by cereal straws combines visco-thermal diffusion with strong wave dispersion arising from quarter-wavelength resonances within straws. Large spectral bandgaps and slow sound regimes are theoretically predicted and experimental data from impedance tube measurements on an idealised 3D-printed sample layer are in good agreement with the theoretical model. Perfect absorption is achieved at wavelengths 13 times larger than the thickness of the metafluid layer, and slow sound entails an increased density of states causing a cascade of high absorption peaks. Such features could lead cereal straws to serve as cheap acoustic bio-metamaterials.