Neuromorphic networks of artificial neurons and synapses can solve computationally hard problems with energy efficiencies unattainable for von Neumann architectures. For image processing, silicon neuromorphic processors outperform graphic processing units in energy efficiency by a large margin, but deliver much lower chip-scale throughput. The performance-efficiency dilemma for silicon processors may not be overcome by Moore's law scaling of silicon transistors. Scalable and biomimetic active memristor neurons and passive memristor synapses form a self-sufficient basis for a transistorless neural network. However, previous demonstrations of memristor neurons only showed simple integrate-and-fire behaviors and did not reveal the rich dynamics and computational complexity of biological neurons. Here we report that neurons built with nanoscale vanadium dioxide active memristors possess all three classes of excitability and most of the known biological neuronal dynamics, and are intrinsically stochastic. With the favorable size and power scaling, there is a path toward an all-memristor neuromorphic cortical computer.