Utilizing the Fermi measurement of the γ-ray spectrum toward the Inner Galaxy, we derive some of the strongest constraints to date on the dark matter (DM) lifetime in the mass range from hundreds of MeV to above an EeV. Our profile-likelihood-based analysis relies on 413 weeks of Fermi Pass 8 data from 200 MeV to 2 TeV, along with up-to-date models for diffuse γ-ray emission within the Milky Way. We model Galactic and extragalactic DM decay and include contributions to the DM-induced γ-ray flux resulting from both primary emission and inverse-Compton scattering of primary electrons and positrons. For the extragalactic flux, we also calculate the spectrum associated with cascades of high-energy γ rays scattering off of the cosmic background radiation. We argue that a decaying DM interpretation for the 10 TeV-1 PeV neutrino flux observed by IceCube is disfavored by our constraints. Our results also challenge a decaying DM explanation of the AMS-02 positron flux. We interpret the results in terms of individual final states and in the context of simplified scenarios such as a hidden-sector glueball model.