How should we begin to explore the complex considerations influencing young Indigenous New Zealand Māori women's sexuality? Centring a Māori woman's analysis through a Mana Wāhine methodology, and utilising an Indigenous form of storying, pūrākau, I explore this question by attending to my autobiographical memory of experiences of exotic dancing and moments of violence in heterosexual relationships. The analysis provides critical reflection on the interchanges between individual experience and the social and cultural conditions of a reality, informed by colonisation and historical trauma. Attending to the rawness and detail of lived experience highlights how complicated the workings of sexual(ised) agency and power, as well as pleasure and risk, can be in the lives of Māori teenage girls. It has also provided an impetus to consider how complex vectors of oppression are brought to bear on us as individuals, and how Indigenous cultural forms can provide the basis for knowing beyond imposed colonising racist and sexist cultural forms.
Keywords: Māori; New Zealand; agency; colonisation; exotic dancing; sexualisation; violence.