Green and simple synthesis of high-quality colloidal quantum dots (CQDs) is of great importance and highly anticipated yet not fully implemented. Herein, we achieve the direct conversion of natural minerals to highly uniform, crystalline lead sulfide CQDs based on laser irradiation in liquid. The trivial fragmentation of mineral particles by an intense nanosecond laser was found to create a localized high degree of monomer supersaturation in oleic acid, initiating the LaMer growth of uniform CQDs. The photoconductive device made of these CQDs exhibits a competitive temporal response of photocurrent with those highly sensitive photodetectors based on PbS CQDs reported in the literature. Our synthesis strategy paves the way for the most environmentally friendly and convenient mass production of high-quality uniform CQDs.