Precise control of quantum systems is of fundamental importance in quantum information processing, quantum metrology and high-resolution spectroscopy. When scaling up quantum registers, several challenges arise: individual addressing of qubits while suppressing cross-talk, entangling distant nodes and decoupling unwanted interactions. Here we experimentally demonstrate optimal control of a prototype spin qubit system consisting of two proximal nitrogen-vacancy centres in diamond. Using engineered microwave pulses, we demonstrate single electron spin operations with a fidelity F≈0.99. With additional dynamical decoupling techniques, we further realize high-quality, on-demand entangled states between two electron spins with F>0.82, mostly limited by the coherence time and imperfect initialization. Crosstalk in a crowded spectrum and unwanted dipolar couplings are simultaneously eliminated to a high extent. Finally, by high-fidelity entanglement swapping to nuclear spin quantum memory, we demonstrate nuclear spin entanglement over a length scale of 25 nm. This experiment underlines the importance of optimal control for scalable room temperature spin-based quantum information devices.