Scholars have problematized popular culture and media (re)presentations of obesity/overweight. However, few have considered the ways bariatric surgery, a rapidly growing treatment for morbid obesity, fits within the discussion. In this article, we explore news media (re)presentations of bariatric surgery using an eclectic approach to critical discourse analysis. Our findings reveal dominant discourses about bariatric surgery and the surgical population, providing an understanding of media (re)presentations as possible contributors to bias, stigmatization, and discrimination. Novel in our findings was our identification of subject positions in the dominant discourses (which were biomedical and benevolent government). We argue that existing (re)presentations of bariatric surgery are highly problematic because they reinforce oversimplistic and binary understandings of weight-loss surgery and obesity, weaving a highly gendered fairy-tale narrative and ultimately promoting weight-based stigmatization.