This paper explores two interlinked components of practitioner's support to children when a parent or carer is at the end of life or has died. The primary issue relates to communication and the competence and confidence of practitioners when working with this community of children. The paper suggests that related to this is the lack of training practitioners receive, both as students and through continual professional development, within the fields of social care and health. The metaphor of the elephant in the room is used to delineate how practitioners avoid such discussions and thereby miss opportunities to support children experiencing potentially the most traumatic life event they have faced. Drawing on current research and the author's experience and reflections as a researcher and practitioner the paper suggests that children experiencing the death of a parent or carer are not being recognized as children in need but rather requiring interventions from specialist services.