Dark matter (DM) "minispikes" around intermediate mass black holes are sometimes quoted as one of the most promising targets for indirect DM searches. Here, we stress that existing cosmic ray data place severe constraints on the possibility to detect DM annihilation signals from these objects in gamma rays; observational prospects for neutrinos or charged cosmic rays seem even worse. Similar bounds severely constrain the possibility that the excess in the cosmic ray positron or electron flux recently reported by PAMELA/ATIC could be due to a nearby point source like a DM clump or minispike.