When an infant dies before, during or soon after birth, the family leaves the hospital empty-handed and empty-hearted, their hopes and dreams shattered. The emotional impact of perinatal death is felt both by parents and by members of the health care team. Yet all too often these deaths are not discussed among the families, by friends and neighbours or even among health care professionals. Parental grief is scarcely acknowledged, and the parents are encouraged to move on. We can do more for those families.