In this article, I present how in vitro fertilization (IVF) journeys become "bu gui lu" (a "road of no return") in China. I document the reproductive dilemmas intended parents encounter as they navigate and renegotiate the reproductive futures they desire throughout the process, and characterize the ambivalence caused by the space between individual struggles for conception and the wider demographic anxiety about national falling fertility rates. I argue that the ambivalence experienced by participants throughout their IVF journeys not only reveals the uncertainty they have about their reproductive futures and the ways to achieve them, but it also reflects the broader uncertainty of the demographic future of contemporary China.
Keywords: Ambivalence; China; future; in vitro fertilization; reproduction; technology.