Modifying surfaces using free radical polymerization (FRP) offers a means to incorporate the diverse physicochemical properties of vinyl polymers onto new materials. Here, we harness the universal surface attachment of polydopamine (PDA) to "prime" a range of different surfaces for free radical polymer attachment, including glass, cotton, paper, sponge, and stainless steel. We show that the intrinsic free radical species present in PDA can serve as an anchor point for subsequent attachment of propagating vinyl polymer macroradicals through radical-radical coupling. Leveraging a straightforward, twofold soak-wash protocol, FRP over the PDA-functionalized surfaces results in covalent polymer attachment on both porous and nonporous substrates, imparting new properties to the functionalized materials, including enhanced hydrophobicity, fluorescence, or temperature responsiveness. Our strategy is then extended to covalently incorporate PDA nanoparticles into organo-/hydrogels via radical cross-linking, yielding tunable PDA-polymer composite networks. The propensity of PDA free radicals to quench FRP is studied using in situ 1H nuclear magnetic resonance and electron paramagnetic resonance spectroscopy, revealing a surface area-dependent macroradical scavenging mechanism that underpins PDA-polymer conjugation. By combining the arbitrary surface attachment of PDA with the broad physicochemical properties of vinyl polymers, our strategy provides a straightforward route for imparting unlimited new functionality to practically any surface.